Listener Input is needed for Next DOC Episode, Dammit!

August 18th, 2010

Amongst other topics on the next DOC, Dan and I will discuss which NBA Player’s career best matches up with President Obama’s performance thus far. My initial thought is Vince Carter, but I’m willing to reconsider. Hey, it’s summer. This is what we do here.

I’ve already gotten some interesting comparisons on Twitter (someone suggested Patrick Ewing), so I wanted to open this one up to as many of you as possible since I’ve only got 60 Twitter followers. My low number of followers is either because I’m new to Twitter or because I’m only 1/6 as interesting as Dan Filowitz — which would be tough to swallow because he’s only 1/7 as interesting as my dogs.

Tell us your ideas for the Obama/NBA Player comparison via Twitter (@DanFilowitz and @discipleKen), email (nba@disciplesofclyde.com), or in the comments section of this posting. Or yell them really loud.

I look forward to discussing your ideas on the show. Obama is a hoops fan, so you know he’ll listen eventually.

Thanks in advance, friends.

–ken

EPISODE #101, Part 2: The Sad Fate of LeBron and Lohan’s, Poor, Tiny Bieber

August 9th, 2010

 
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In the exciting conclusion to Part 1, Dan and Ken get together to talk about things that have hardly anything to do with what was going on in the earlier episode.

What, in fact, did they talk about? That’s for you to decide. Or, rather, to listen to.

Songs from the episode:

“The Plan” - Richard Hell and the Voidoids
“Let’s Take A Trip Together” - Morphine
“Roygbiv” - Boards of Canada

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Follow @DanFilowitz and @discipleKen on Twitter. Twice the inanity, same low price.

EPISODE #101, Part 1: LeBron Punched Lohan in the Bieber

August 6th, 2010

 
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For the first time on FreeDarko Presents: The Disciples of Clyde NBA Podcast, we have split an episode into two parts.

Why? Well, that’s for you to decide. Or something we decided. It was a decision, that’s for sure.

Speaking of decisions, there was an important one made by our guests on this part of the episode, Bethlehem Shoals and Spencer Hall of Every Day Should be Saturday. They might decide to announce a potential secret project, right here on the show.

What will they decide? To announce the project? To do a project at all? To keep a secret?

You’ll have to listen, and probably donate some money to charity, to really find out.

Also make sure to check later for Part 2 of this episode, where Ken and I decide to do a second part of a podcast episode.

Songs from the Episode:

“The Half” - Dennis Brown
“Life Goes By” - Madlib
“Elevators (Me and You)” - Outkast
“Winds With Hands” - Pelican
“Summa Dis” - Freddie Gibbs

The pictures referenced in the episode:

Picture 1
Picture 2
Lots ‘o Pictures

A Vicious Rebuttal of Ken and Will Leitch’s LeBron Commentaries from Somebody that Ken Once Called a Friend and that Will Leitch Doesn’t Know

July 12th, 2010

***Editor’s Note***
Ken wrote a blog entry before LeBron’s announcement and then recorded a podcast immediately after it. His college friend Manoff, who once appeared on the podcast, sent an email criticizing Ken’s opinions because that’s just what Manoff likes to do with his ample free time. Manoff disagreed with how Ken lumped LeBron and the Media together in articulating why he found the entire spectacle to be distasteful. Ken defended himself by reminding Manoff that LeBron produced the show, literally making himself part of the “media”. Manoff presumably took some West Coast Turnaround and responded thusly.

Oh no, I wasn’t referring to the content of his choice, but to your characterizing the manner of his announcement as betraying a callousness and lack of self-awareness.

Callousness? Lack of self-awareness? For announcing his move on live TV? How else would you have liked him to announce it?

The insane “Durant did it the right way by signing with the team that gave him his “start” and announcing it on Twitter” infuriates me. Durant signed for the max with the only organization that could offer him a contract this year, a year before a new CBA is in place which will likely have worse terms for players. If ‘Bron had announced on Twitter, the complaints would have been “He’s such a coward, he can’t even look Cleveland in the eye”.

If he made the announcement in Miami flanked by Wade and Bosh, he would have been tarred with “Wade can both win and make it through a press conference without LeBron; LeBron needs Wade for both”. And god forbid he makes his announcement before tens of thousands of delighted Miamians, with broadcasters running footage of that party side-by-side with Clevelanders burning his uni.

Yes, “The Decision” made for awful television and the show shouldn’t have been dragged out like a reality-show results episode, but what would you have him do? A press conference? Why would LeBron want to draw easy parallels between his professional choice and a recent press conference held by a beswooshed, transcendent athlete who used it as a forum to discuss decidedly non-professional matters?

Yes, it would be callous if had made up his mind in Bejing in ‘08 and dragged out the announcement as long as possible, but I don’t think that was the case. He could not talk to other clubs prior to a handful of days ago. I feel that he saw the landscape, heard the pitches and moved with all deliberate speed to decide and announce it. No Hamlet he.

What infuriates me (to the same degree that listening to political talk radio does) is the media initiating an immediate attack on the hubris of LeBron making his announcement via “The Decision” without providing any suggestion of what would have been a better method.
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EPISODE #100: Happy Centennial, Bitches

July 9th, 2010

 
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Our centennial episode happened to be recorded minutes after Lebron confirmed the rumors and signed with the Miami Heat. It was a fitting coincidence. Or not. Whatever.

The topic was, of course, why Lebron personally hates Ken and Dan. The final verdict: Jealousy.

Ken mentions this Jack McCallum piece about the Le-Spectacle and you should read it.

Other topics in and around this issue:

Why did this whole episode piss people off?

Why did the media lose its mind?

What is the future for the Heat?

What is the future for the teams he spurned?

And to top it all off, Ken and Dan mark this important milestone by reminiscing about their humble beginnings and then offering heartfelt appreciation to all applicable parties, including you. It really has been a pleasure.

Songs from the episode:

“Don’t Think Twice” - Bob Dylan (and various artists)
“Jump” - Aretha Franklin
“Mambo Sun” - T-Rex

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Follow Dan Filowitz on Twitter. He types things using his phone or computer and then you can read them! @DanFilowitz

The Fiasco Will Be Televised

July 8th, 2010

We’ve had an odd relationship in this space with Bill Simmons’ NBA writing over the past few years. In fact, i thought that he’d received so much attention here that I went out of my way not to discuss his book (the highest profile NBA book ever?) despite having two or three podcast episodes worth of responses to it.

Right now I’m angry at The Sports Guy. My 9 month old son went on a sleep strike yesterday that by 6pm threatened my wife’s hold on reality and so I had to be Superdad from the minute I got home until late at night, leaving no time for me to write the “I hate Lebron’s TV Special” piece that was fomenting in my head all day. And then Bill Simmons made about half of the points I was going to make in his own Lebron column. This is the eternal conflict between the hobbyist and the guy who writes sports for a living. This is the life we’ve chosen.

(BTW, based on he amount of crying and tantrums my son either had terrible indigestion from the latest foods we’ve added to his roster or he is going to grow five inches and eight teeth by the weekend. I’ll keep you posted.)

Here is the big point from Simmons’ article that I very much wanted to address on my own but didn’t because I suck:

Losing LeBron on a contrived one-hour show would be worse than Byner’s fumble, Jose Mesa, the Game 5 meltdown against Boston, The Drive, The Shot and everything else. At least those stomach-punch moments weren’t preordained, unless you believe God hates Cleveland (entirely possible, by the way). This stomach-punch moment? Calculated. By a local kid they loved, defended and revered.

It would be unforgivable. Repeat: unforgivable.

To further Simmons’ point, I actually believe that even the dopiest members of his entourage must know that spurning Cleveland on TV would ruin his image forever. He could win a handful of titles and that stink of being an insensitive dick would never come off.

Thus I predict he stays, making this TV special a lame exercise in self-congratulation for his loyalty that won’t be worth any of our time. There will be footage of Akron, photos of Lebron as a kid, interviews with old friends, the whole deal. The topper will be the soft-focus footage of Lebron interacting with a multi-ethnic mix of Boys and Girls Club kids from difficult home/economic circumstances that mirror his own humble origin, thus reminding Lebron (and the rest of us) of the commitment that he must make to the community of Akron. It will be a legitimately noble sentiment that will be poorly delivered and make you roll your eyes.

That sounds dreadful. I’ll wait for the internet to blow up 5 seconds after the announcement in minute 57 that confirms he will stay in Cleveland, thank you very much.

I disregard this upcoming TV “event” so much that I’ve even come up with a few of my own alternate derogatory “Le . . .” names for it in hopes that one will catch on and be used for years when we remember the stupidest media moment in sports history:

LeAmestock

LePatOnMyOwnBack

LeHandJob

That last one is a longshot that will probably need a boost from Deadspin to gain traction. Nonetheless . . .

He has to stay in Cleveland. He just has to. David Stern or Nike simply would not let Lebron ruin his brand name (and their own bottom lines) by doing this to the city of Cleveland on TV. Even if leaving was the plan within James’ circle when the decision was made to do the TV special, it couldn’t be now. The general idea of the TV special is so dumb that Stern or Nike couldn’t have known about it in advance, but once they found out about it they would all but order him to stay in Cleveland.  

The Miami rumors have to be a last ditch effort to create drama in minute 56 of the special, otherwise I really do fear for Lebron’s sanity, his legacy, and his very soul. I’m a Knick fan and I would love to have heard the news leak at some point this summer that he is going to New York. Obviously. But now I don’t want him. At this point it I will but upset if he is a Knick, which hurts because I love the Knicks so much that I still remember where I was when I heard about the Derrick Harper trade, I still lament Tim Mccormick never proved to be a reliable backup to Patrick Ewing, and I once even rationalized the signing of Lee Nailon. I love that stupid team. I freaking love them.

I started rooting for the choice to be Cleveland the second i heard about the TV special. If he goes anywhere else then he forever becomes the avatar for the disappearance of the middle class, for the notion that you get the hell out of places like Cleveland as soon as you can because American prosperity doesn’t live there anymore since the jobs that once defined the “Rust Belt” all went to China and all we make anymore in this country is reality TV, gonzo-porn, and hedge-fund-billionaire-douchebags.

That’s right, kids, Ken Drews just said what we’re all thinking: if Lebron bolts Cleveland then the erosion of the American Dream is all Maverick Carter’s fault.

EPISODE #99: You Don’t Know Balut.

July 7th, 2010

 
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Dan is joined by Rafe Bartholomew, author of Pacific Rims: Beermen Ballin’ in Flip-Flops and the Philippines’ Unlikely Love Affair with Basketball about the book, the Philippines basketball culture, and many other interesting topics that have nothing to do with one player and what team he may or may not play for.

Songs from the episode:

“Comin’ At You” - Monster Island Czars
“Ain’t it Good To You” - Ultramagnetic MC’s

Subscribe via iTunes, whydontya?

Follow Dan Filowitz on Twitter. Worth at least your mid-level exception. @DanFilowitz

DOC Free Agency Minisode: Too Much Information

July 2nd, 2010

 
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Ken recorded his thoughts.  Why?  Because they were there.

This is the Stupedist Day in the History of Sports

July 1st, 2010

The discussions of money in the context of the times.  The rumors.  The “journalism” on display everywhere.  Twitter.  The experts (holy crap do I hate them).  The bad ideas . . .

Yuck.

I was looking forward to this, and I do think that the Knicks will pull off a pleasant surprise or two, but this is freaking tacky.  Whether the Knicks improve or not, I don’t like today at all.  Again, independent of how well the Knicks fare, there is a chance that I like the NBA a little less than I did yesterday. It’s all just so  . . . grotesque, right?

Am I alone?

The Only Mock NBA Draft that Matters

June 23rd, 2010

1. Washington - John Wall

Washington GM Ernie Grunfeld is very impressed by John Wall’s upside, but also conceded that he would be much more comfortable anointing the Kentucky freshman as the future of the Wizards if Wall were to blow out his knee and then not play for two years.

2. Philadelphia - Evan Turner

The Sixers’ scouts love Evan Turner’s versatility. Turner particularly impressed GM Ed Stefanski by conducting his post-workout interview in Esperanto while simultaneously amending Louis Williams’ 2008 income tax return.

3. New Jersey - Derrick Favors

You might say that the Nets’ scouts favor the Georgia Tech big man for his combination of length and upside. Did you see what I did there? Favor.

Rather.

Anyway, Favors’ ability to cover lots of ground makes him the draft’s best possible match with Brook Lopez. My sources across the league are telling me that having big men is good.

4. Minnesota - Wesley Johnson

Wesley Johnson is a safe pick who should thrive on the wing in orbit of the Timberwolves’ collection of big men. Or he’ll suck. Who knows, right? Life is nutty.

5. Sacramento - Demarcus Cousins

Geoff Petrie disregards character concerns and goes for the best player on the board, adding to his suddenly stocked and versatile frontcourt rotation. The decision was ultimately made when coach Paul Westphal convinced Petrie that a few well timed hugs during training camp would quickly transform Cousins from “angry loose-cannon” to “Black Alan Alda”. And as we all remember, Kevin Johnson often cites a 1992 embrace from Westphal as the start of his own transformation from “porn-addicted arsonist” to “current mayor of Sacramento.” So it all comes around.
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