Archive for the ‘Author: Kenneth Paul Drews’ Category

Listener Input is needed for Next DOC Episode, Dammit!

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

Amongst other topics on the next DOC, Dan and I will discuss which NBA Player’s career best matches up with President Obama’s performance thus far. My initial thought is Vince Carter, but I’m willing to reconsider. Hey, it’s summer. This is what we do here.

I’ve already gotten some interesting comparisons on Twitter (someone suggested Patrick Ewing), so I wanted to open this one up to as many of you as possible since I’ve only got 60 Twitter followers. My low number of followers is either because I’m new to Twitter or because I’m only 1/6 as interesting as Dan Filowitz — which would be tough to swallow because he’s only 1/7 as interesting as my dogs.

Tell us your ideas for the Obama/NBA Player comparison via Twitter (@DanFilowitz and @discipleKen), email (nba@disciplesofclyde.com), or in the comments section of this posting. Or yell them really loud.

I look forward to discussing your ideas on the show. Obama is a hoops fan, so you know he’ll listen eventually.

Thanks in advance, friends.

–ken

The Fiasco Will Be Televised

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

We’ve had an odd relationship in this space with Bill Simmons’ NBA writing over the past few years. In fact, i thought that he’d received so much attention here that I went out of my way not to discuss his book (the highest profile NBA book ever?) despite having two or three podcast episodes worth of responses to it.

Right now I’m angry at The Sports Guy. My 9 month old son went on a sleep strike yesterday that by 6pm threatened my wife’s hold on reality and so I had to be Superdad from the minute I got home until late at night, leaving no time for me to write the “I hate Lebron’s TV Special” piece that was fomenting in my head all day. And then Bill Simmons made about half of the points I was going to make in his own Lebron column. This is the eternal conflict between the hobbyist and the guy who writes sports for a living. This is the life we’ve chosen.

(BTW, based on he amount of crying and tantrums my son either had terrible indigestion from the latest foods we’ve added to his roster or he is going to grow five inches and eight teeth by the weekend. I’ll keep you posted.)

Here is the big point from Simmons’ article that I very much wanted to address on my own but didn’t because I suck:

Losing LeBron on a contrived one-hour show would be worse than Byner’s fumble, Jose Mesa, the Game 5 meltdown against Boston, The Drive, The Shot and everything else. At least those stomach-punch moments weren’t preordained, unless you believe God hates Cleveland (entirely possible, by the way). This stomach-punch moment? Calculated. By a local kid they loved, defended and revered.

It would be unforgivable. Repeat: unforgivable.

To further Simmons’ point, I actually believe that even the dopiest members of his entourage must know that spurning Cleveland on TV would ruin his image forever. He could win a handful of titles and that stink of being an insensitive dick would never come off.

Thus I predict he stays, making this TV special a lame exercise in self-congratulation for his loyalty that won’t be worth any of our time. There will be footage of Akron, photos of Lebron as a kid, interviews with old friends, the whole deal. The topper will be the soft-focus footage of Lebron interacting with a multi-ethnic mix of Boys and Girls Club kids from difficult home/economic circumstances that mirror his own humble origin, thus reminding Lebron (and the rest of us) of the commitment that he must make to the community of Akron. It will be a legitimately noble sentiment that will be poorly delivered and make you roll your eyes.

That sounds dreadful. I’ll wait for the internet to blow up 5 seconds after the announcement in minute 57 that confirms he will stay in Cleveland, thank you very much.

I disregard this upcoming TV “event” so much that I’ve even come up with a few of my own alternate derogatory “Le . . .” names for it in hopes that one will catch on and be used for years when we remember the stupidest media moment in sports history:

LeAmestock

LePatOnMyOwnBack

LeHandJob

That last one is a longshot that will probably need a boost from Deadspin to gain traction. Nonetheless . . .

He has to stay in Cleveland. He just has to. David Stern or Nike simply would not let Lebron ruin his brand name (and their own bottom lines) by doing this to the city of Cleveland on TV. Even if leaving was the plan within James’ circle when the decision was made to do the TV special, it couldn’t be now. The general idea of the TV special is so dumb that Stern or Nike couldn’t have known about it in advance, but once they found out about it they would all but order him to stay in Cleveland.  

The Miami rumors have to be a last ditch effort to create drama in minute 56 of the special, otherwise I really do fear for Lebron’s sanity, his legacy, and his very soul. I’m a Knick fan and I would love to have heard the news leak at some point this summer that he is going to New York. Obviously. But now I don’t want him. At this point it I will but upset if he is a Knick, which hurts because I love the Knicks so much that I still remember where I was when I heard about the Derrick Harper trade, I still lament Tim Mccormick never proved to be a reliable backup to Patrick Ewing, and I once even rationalized the signing of Lee Nailon. I love that stupid team. I freaking love them.

I started rooting for the choice to be Cleveland the second i heard about the TV special. If he goes anywhere else then he forever becomes the avatar for the disappearance of the middle class, for the notion that you get the hell out of places like Cleveland as soon as you can because American prosperity doesn’t live there anymore since the jobs that once defined the “Rust Belt” all went to China and all we make anymore in this country is reality TV, gonzo-porn, and hedge-fund-billionaire-douchebags.

That’s right, kids, Ken Drews just said what we’re all thinking: if Lebron bolts Cleveland then the erosion of the American Dream is all Maverick Carter’s fault.

This is the Stupedist Day in the History of Sports

Thursday, July 1st, 2010

The discussions of money in the context of the times.  The rumors.  The “journalism” on display everywhere.  Twitter.  The experts (holy crap do I hate them).  The bad ideas . . .

Yuck.

I was looking forward to this, and I do think that the Knicks will pull off a pleasant surprise or two, but this is freaking tacky.  Whether the Knicks improve or not, I don’t like today at all.  Again, independent of how well the Knicks fare, there is a chance that I like the NBA a little less than I did yesterday. It’s all just so  . . . grotesque, right?

Am I alone?

The Only Mock NBA Draft that Matters

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

1. Washington - John Wall

Washington GM Ernie Grunfeld is very impressed by John Wall’s upside, but also conceded that he would be much more comfortable anointing the Kentucky freshman as the future of the Wizards if Wall were to blow out his knee and then not play for two years.

2. Philadelphia - Evan Turner

The Sixers’ scouts love Evan Turner’s versatility. Turner particularly impressed GM Ed Stefanski by conducting his post-workout interview in Esperanto while simultaneously amending Louis Williams’ 2008 income tax return.

3. New Jersey - Derrick Favors

You might say that the Nets’ scouts favor the Georgia Tech big man for his combination of length and upside. Did you see what I did there? Favor.

Rather.

Anyway, Favors’ ability to cover lots of ground makes him the draft’s best possible match with Brook Lopez. My sources across the league are telling me that having big men is good.

4. Minnesota - Wesley Johnson

Wesley Johnson is a safe pick who should thrive on the wing in orbit of the Timberwolves’ collection of big men. Or he’ll suck. Who knows, right? Life is nutty.

5. Sacramento - Demarcus Cousins

Geoff Petrie disregards character concerns and goes for the best player on the board, adding to his suddenly stocked and versatile frontcourt rotation. The decision was ultimately made when coach Paul Westphal convinced Petrie that a few well timed hugs during training camp would quickly transform Cousins from “angry loose-cannon” to “Black Alan Alda”. And as we all remember, Kevin Johnson often cites a 1992 embrace from Westphal as the start of his own transformation from “porn-addicted arsonist” to “current mayor of Sacramento.” So it all comes around.
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What I Loved About Game 7

Friday, June 18th, 2010

In no particular order . . .

I loved that it had the most intensity of any NBA game since MJ retired. I can not be talked out of that statement. It was palpable from the moment that bodies started flying on the first possessions of the game.

I loved that there were a low number of points and nobody cares. If you do care then you don’t like basketball. Watch a mid-season Warriors/Clippers game and then tell me that mere points in a vacuum are entertaining.

I loved that they kind of put away the whistles. Bodies started flying from the first possessions of the game and in each instance the players missing shots or losing the ball (mostly the Lakers) were incredulous that play wasn’t constantly being stopped. What a relief to see uninterrupted sequences of possessions by teams that actually play hard on defense. Gasol and Bryant, especially, get the benefit of whistles so often during every other game that you can hardly blame them for being confused that there was at times severe contact and yet the game kept going. I mostly liked how this game was officiated because it doesn’t always have to be somebody’s fault when there is contact. It begs the question, of course, if those plays weren’t fouls in Game 7 then why are they fouls every other game? The answer is that refs call too many damn fouls just because there is contact; they need to dial it back and let players play because the best man will eventually win. The refs owe us an apology for the way they officiated the other 1311 games played this year. End of discussion.

I loved that multiple players competed, independent of skill, like they were Charles Oakley or Alonzo Mourning back in the day, going full tilt and sacrificing their bodies. Gasol. Rondo. Bryant. KG. Even Bynum (when you consider the pain he was in). The effort and recklessness of this game looked like something from the distant past.

I loved that this game reminded me of being a kid and becoming a lifelong fan of the NBA in the 1990’s. And by the way, the 1990’s were better than people think because, low point totals and all, guys went after it in the later rounds of the playoffs.

I loved that a team got the full benefits of having a crazy player and none of the drawbacks. Ron Artest wasn’t afraid to play the game of his life last night because he is nuts. Almost any person in their right mind would play at or below their normal level in such an intense game. Aside from Dennis Rodman and Stephen Jackson this almost never happens.

I loved how little the players had left when the final buzzer came. It was like the 15th round of Creed-Balboa. I would like to learn something from that and apply it to my own life. In defeat or victory, how satisfying must it feel to sit in that locker room and know that you gave everything in pursuit of your goal?

I loved Rasheed Wallace’s confidence as a post scorer early in the first quarter.

I loved that it is no longer surprising to see Pau Gasol hanging in there for three and four chances on the offensive glass until his incredible touch allows him to score. Banging like that is not his second nature and the fact that he learned to compete like that in his late twenties is so damned admirable.

I loved seeing Rondo go coast to coast.

I loved seeing Rondo go to the floor like a missile for a loose ball.

I loved Big Baby’s scoring instincts to use the rim for protection on that drive in the first half.

I loved Kobe going for that power dunk over Pierce at the end of the game. Considering the context, that would have been the best in-game dunk of all time if Kobe was able to finish it off.

I loved how KG kept going after it even though he can’t get around anybody for rebounds.

I loved being reminded of how smart KG has become in his old age.

I loved KG’s movement off the ball.

I loved Rondo rewarding KG’s movement off the ball.

I loved how often the floor had to be toweled off.

I loved Ron Artest being in the right place in the triangle so often.

I loved the poise the Lakers showed even after late missed free throws.

I loved that the missed free throws were caused by fatigue and not, it seems, by nerves.

I loved seeing a three hour demonstration of the efforts by two of the greatest assistant coaches in HBA history. Tom Thibidou’s defense and Tex Winter’s offense are simply works of art.

I loved that, due to a missed nap earlier in the day, my eight month old son fell asleep early in the evening and was in my arms while I watched every second of the game. I could have put him in his crib but then something occurred to me: every time they mention this game or show highlights for the rest of my life I get to think about holding my little boy. Not bad. It was totally worth then being awake with him from midnight until 4 am and then being a vegetable at work this morning.

I loved seeing Hondo, Russell, McHale, Cornbread, Magic and Kareem on hand. It reminded us what was at stake.

I loved the video package that ABC produced for the beginning of the game putting players of different eras in the same space. The CGI used to give us a moving alternate angle of MJ’s “spectacular move” shot against the Lakers in 1991 was imaginative and stunning. That video needs to be on YouTube yesterday.

I loved how unflappable Vujacic was for those late free throws. Whatever you think of the dude, his hair or his game, that was impressive.

How can you not love Fisher’s confidence when a big shot is needed?

I loved how Doc Rivers communicates with his players. What a cool person.

I loved seeing Nate Robinson playing under control in the closing minutes Game Seven of the NBA Finals. I wish he could have demonstrated such poise as a Knick, but that probably was never going to happen.

I loved the Celtic bench congratulating Brian Scalabrine after 20 seconds of play in the first half. Why the hell not? Perhaps that was what Rivers meant when he called his team “crazy close” after the game.

I loved Lamar Odom’s slow and high pass to Kobe to ride out the clock to end the game. What a smart play.

I loved the whole freaking thing. Thank you, Lakers and Celtics. Congratulations.

Enjoy Yourselves Tonight, Kids

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

The contents of the video embedded below came up in the comments discussion of the blog post for Episode #97 because Shoals has had this song in his head for 20 years. I think it is an apt representation of the basketball cult (I’m a member and so are you) on the cusp what is going to happen later this evening. Watch it and tell me I’m wrong.

Seriously, friends, let the basketball and the stakes and the drama wash over you. This doesn’t happen very often.

Starting tomorrow it will be about the draft and free agency and Lebron and Rudy Gay earning 80 million dollars and Lebron and cap space. Tonight we have nothing but a moment to live in.

For one night it’s all about one win and one loss. It’s almost too much. Almost.

This is a big deal. This is real life. This is so real that it feels staged. But it isn’t. The Lakers and the Celtics are really playing Game Seven tonight. Remember how the entire day and night feels and then figure out how to approach feeling that way tomorrow.

Feel the fizz.

Sincerely,

kpd

EPISODE #88: Ken and Dan Know Nothing

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

 
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A slightly longer than usual gap between the recording of the podcast (Wednesday) and the posting of the podcast (Sunday) is regrettable, but this can still be considered a timeless and worthy DOC episode if you ignore both Ken and Dan’s pick of Kansas to win the NCAA title.  We could have edited that part out, but that isn’t the DOC way.

And you know us . . . any preview that we do for a college basketball tournament is no more relevant before said tournament than it would have been after it said tournament.  Ride it out, friends, and we promise you’ll enjoy it,  Or not.  Whatever.

In addition, we break down Dan Klores’ very fine Knicks/Pacers documentary, talk about great NBA Entertainment documentaries from decades past, and formally request that NFL Films start making basket ball movies.  Ken also contributes a few actual ideas for Hollwyood to make a decent film about basketball.

Finally, we check in on some of the elite teams and wonder what they need to accomplish over the next month.

Enjoy it with our compliments and come back next week for our preview of the 2005 Western Conference Finals.

The music from this episode:

  • Bobby Booshay - Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears
  • Bad Mamma Jamma - RIck James
  • The Earthquake of ‘73 - Fruit Bats
  • Ain’t No Love in the Heart of the City - Jay-Z

EPISODE #87: Page One of the Macho Code

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

 
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Ken and Dan discuss the role of a crazy guy like Matt Barnes on a team like the Magic, also reflecting on past instances of living by page one of the macho code (John Starks, baby) in order to succeed in the playoffs. Barnes’ intensity/recklessness also seems relevant now because of the “Winning Time” documentary from ESPN, the connection to which is  nicely articulated by Dan Devine at Ball Don’t Lie.

Ken and Dan also discuss the media’s reaction to Iverson.  Which is sad.  Such is life.  Check out this blog entry on ESPN.com, which echoes some of the opinions that Ken expresses about Stephen A. Smith’s coverage of the matter.

To kick of the show, however, Ken completes his mission to tell the world about a few of our listeners who happen to have blogs or podcasts of their own. These projects are also listed below. Dan was against doing something nice, but Ken overpowered him with brute physical strength. In all seriousness, it would mean a great deal to the both Ken and Dan if you would give some of your fellow DOC listeners a chance to entertain you with their efforts . . . you just might discover your next favorite voice.  Here’s the list:

In addition, there were two lazy bastards who didn’t contact us until after the episode was recorded.  Go to their websites, read something every day for the next week, and then call them lazy bastards in the comments section.  Use as much profanity as you want.  Here’s the the links:

  • The Bay Area Sports Report is a brand new blog co-founded by hall of fame DOC commenter MR.FJG_SON. The authors better write something  NOW or they’ll never work in this internet again!  Actually, even if they don’t write something by the time you click there, send the link  to everyone you know anyway.  Let’s see of we can get them enough click-throughs or tiny-url-dealies to be bought out by ESPN or something.  Check them out at thebayareasportsreport.tumblr.com.
  • Painstakingly created by a mysterious and dangerous young man known only as “Josh”, Waiting For Groza is a new but quite cool hoops blog.  He’s got a great piece on strange statistical similarities between Andrew Bogut and Robert parish.  Give him some love at waitingforgroza.blogspot.com.

The music from this episode:

  • Auld Lang Syne - Glen Miller Orchestra
  • Dirty Boulevard - Lou Reed
  • Stranger Song - Leanord Cohen
  • Smith and Jones Forever - SilverJews

New NBA Halftime Show

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Look! Ken Drews has free time on his hands, too!

Is Donnie Walsh Too Old For Us to Change His Nickname to “Zeke”

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

Who likes sausage?  Well, you won’t after i reveal how they make it, kids.  Let me walk you through this delightful scenario:

  • Last year the Knicks decline Sacramento’s insanely stupid offer to take Jared Jeffries for Kenny Thomas if the Knicks also sent Nate Robinson because the Knicks need Robinson for their “playoff run” that ends up netting 33 wins.
  • Meanwhile, the Knicks fail to sign David Lee to a reasonable contract extension over the previous two years in hopes of landing a second “marquee” free agent to pair with, ya know, Lebron or Wade . . . because signing one of those two was always a given.
  • So . . . the Knicks miss ample opportunities to pay David Lee something like 7-9 million dollars a year even as they watch him constantly improve his jump shot and post game to the point that he is going to average 21 and 12 if he ever plays with a decent point guard, making him worth something like 12-13 million dollars to one of the dozen teams that will have cap space this summer.
  • In anticipation of this conundrum, they draft a raw but promising but raw power forward to build up their frontcourt depth and possibly replace Lee if he signs elsewhere.
  • They never play the raw but promising power forward and instead give his minutes to Al Harrington and Jonathan Bender’s corpse. Nobody has any idea how good the raw but promising power forward is even though it looks like he can shoot and rebound at a very good per minute clip.
  • The Knicks are so happy that they held on to Nate Robinson that they celebrate by benching his ass for 14 games during a period of sustained success and then re-inserting Robinson into the lineup just before they [coincidentally] start losing lots of games again.
  • Then they dump Nate Robinson to Boston for  . . . stuff.
  • Still in posession of Jared Jeffries thanks to turning down the Sacramento offer, the team must include the raw but promising rookie power forward and draft picks as incentive for the Rockets to take Jaffries.  Why not include  Eddy Curry, since this is all about salary anyway and Jeffries could actually contribute next year to a stripped roster?  Shut up, that’s why not.
  • In theory, the Knicks are in a good position because, without Jeffries’ salary they can “slide two max contracts across the table to Wade and Lebron” this summer.  Or one of those two and Chris Bosh.  And then all the planning will have worked to perfection if  . . . two of those players decide to leave their teams.  Because the one thing that both Wade and Lebron have learned throughout the years is that you don’t need point guards, depth or big men to win in the playoffs.
  • Humble podcaster Ken Drews wonders aloud to nobody if the fact that Darryl Morey, the stat-geek GM  who finds undervalued players that contribute insane value, likes Jordan Hill means that Jordan Hill might just be MUCH BETTER than Mike D’Antoni thought.
  • Of course, wIth nobody on the team to replace him, the Knicks have to take it up the ass from Lee’s agent this summer if the other free agents decide not to come to NY, leaving them with a 9 million dollar a year player who is signed for five years and 65 million.

So there you have it.  If you don’t care how the sausage is made then this is a good day to be a Knick fan.  They have lots of cap space for a deep free agent class, Eddy Curry’s expiring contract (for next year) to trade, two young quality rotation players (Chandler, Gallo), threetalented young wild cards (Sergio Rodriguez, Toney Douglas, Bill Walker), and a top tier coach (Mr. Pringles). For the first time in a decade, the Knicks are in good (if precarious) shape.

Hey, I’d feel even worse if I was Sacto fan (sorry, Ziller).  They get a little cap relief for a major NBA talent, yet somehow Franscisco Garcia and Nocioni are still on their team until the next ice age.  Lovely.

And I’d be tripping balls right now if the Knicks had a GM like Morey.  Jeez, he played Walsh and Geoff Petrie like hand puppets.  Talk about making something out of nothing.  He turns the franchise-killing McGrady injury last year into one of the most efficient perimeter scorers in the NBA, and all it cost him was former second round pick Carl Landry (which is a tough loss mitigated by the fact that they just got Jordan freaking Hill). Not only that, kids, but the salary albatross that he absorbed for all his trouble is a decent player who will contribute to Houston for the next year and a half with his good defense and unselfish play, making him a valuable expiring contract next year.

I will now light Dan Filowitz on fire.